February finally ends while leaving us in its path, the traces of the party that comes with: Valentine’s Day! I know I know. I’m late. I wanted to release this text well before, but hesitation prevented me. Indeed, to write it involved exposing myself. No, I’m not talking about photos!

2017 was an emotionally difficult year. I was trying to recover from a breakup. What did I say? Of an abandonment! Only now is 2018 starting for me. I know I know. I’m late. However, is not it said somewhere that January is a month of testing and that the New Year does not begin until February? My desire to meet new people has only come up recently and I feel like a femme fatale! Yes, I know, I think I’m the last Coca-Cola in the desert as my mother would say…

However, where am I going with this? Where a woman’s self-esteem and self-confidence break after a break-up… Following a separation, I remain marked with the feeling that part of me is dead: my ability to love truly and passionately. This breakup has brought a lot of fears: fear of uncovered sexuality, inability to love or be loved, etc.

I could quote the advice of love coaches of this world such as “Take care of yourself, change your perceptions, see the positive and go out! “. The fact remains that for me, it took time to get through my pain. I did not even know what had happened because I was facing a ghosting situation. Did he leave with another? Is he in prison? Is he depressed? No idea.

I had to go to the obvious: the breakup was very real. So, I wondered about myself for a long time. Everything was questioned: my body shape, my sex appeal, my sex skills, my romance, my intentions, my outspokenness or my age. I was hurt in the depths of my being. In short, I did not feel attractive anymore and I did not do anything to feel better. Still in love, no one else interested me physically or emotionally.

I took my time, I experienced my grief and took stock of this relationship. One step at a time, I went back to dancing, going to the cinema, cooking, laughing and I remembered the person I was and who, in the end, I am always: a femme fatale! I felt seductive again and became sensitive again to others. Maybe it’s my hair, my smile, my breasts or my cute side that gives me my sex appeal (laughs!). This love story is behind me. The passion and the sensuality that I release are not dead. This is the part of me that no one can take away.

It happens to us all, one day or another, to have a broken heart and have to overcome a painful separation. It’s easy to say. I know. One morning, the sadness and anger that inhabited you will be gone. You will find yourself becoming the woman you were and that you have always been.

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Under the theme of sensuality, the photos included in this text were taken by Colombe (Coco) Boileau as part of the makeup training of Mélodie Galarneau at Inter-Dec College.